Saturday, May 31, 2014

Joy

Last night was "Family Movie Night" in our household. I love family movie night because it means frozen pizza and let's face it, that is a way easy dinner. But I also love it because the normal for our week goes out the window. We eat at the coffee table while watching the movie. Last night it was casual dress so the boys sported only underwear. And we all just get to take a minute and relax. It is a family tradition that brings so much joy and yet it is so simple.

So it got me thinking. How many times have I planned over the top outings or events in order to make sure that everyone is having the best time ever? And those times have been great but they can induce so much stress for me trying to make everything perfect. The best memories are filled with simplicity and just naturally come together. I don't need to go seeking out joy, it is always right there waiting to be received.


Psalm 118:24 

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.


Psalm 33:21 

For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.


Psalm 16:11 

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

The real joy in life is Jesus. His presence left here on earth as the Holy Spirit, dwells in us always. Therefore, there is always joy in our hearts. It seems so simple! And even better is knowing that our Heavenly Father desires for us to partake and find joy in the moments he has set out before us. Oh how He loves us!


Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Redemption


James 1:17

"17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

I hold fast to this. I must because this scripture helps me to decipher what has be given to our family by Him. God does not give us grief or calamity or destruction. Those are issues created by Satan, by worldliness, due to the fall of man. 

But God does use those situations and redeems them for His glory.

When we started the international adoption process two years ago, never in a million years did we think it would take the twists and turns that have lead us to where we are at today. We were referred a brother and sister soon after we started. We were excited and overjoyed! We began the process to bring them home. We started to purchase clothes and toys for them. I even painted a beautiful mermaid on the other wall of my boys room in order to compliment the pirate ship mural that was already there. We dreamed, and planned, and soaked in the brightness of each day as we anticipated our journey to go and bring them home.

That journey was never made. Within a few months of our adoption approval and as we were weeks away from going, both children died from complications of Malaria and Typhoid. The light went out. Trying to share with M who was 4 at the time that his new brother and sister would not be coming home was one of the hardest things my husband and I have ever had to do. M stopped praying out loud for a few months after because he just didn't know what to say. It was heart breaking.

We don't believe that our children dying was a part of God's plan. He is a good God who loves his children. We absolutely believe that the enemy has been on our backs the entire time trying to stop us from completing an adoption. Why? Because he knows these children will come to a home where there is Jesus. 

John 10:10 
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Satan is that thief. But we have been given the power of the Holy Spirit to cut him down again, and again, and again. He is under our feet always.

Mark 12:36 
David himself, in the Holy Spirit, declared, “‘The Lord said to my Lord, Sit at my right hand, until I put your enemies under your feet.’

So when the storms come and leave a wake of destruction, God takes that destruction and redeems it for His glory.

Psalm 103:1-22 
Of David. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

So how has the death of our children been redeemed? We know they walk with Him. Our Heavenly Father even sent me a dream of our daughter a day after she passed where I could see her sitting on the lap of Jesus in heaven, laughing, and healed. She was in a bright red sweatsuit:) She was beautiful! 

I still fall into moments of grief in what could have been. But my God is quick to remind me that He has them and that they are in capable hands. That they are excited to meet us one day in heaven. That is a very tender thought.

Eventually, we had another referral. A beautiful little girl only 4 months old. She is now almost 2 and we are continuing to do battle against the enemy and the schemes of man in trying to bring her home. But each day is one day closer. Each day is an opportunity to pray for her. And M and L do so without missing a beat. Faith being restored and hope being given is the best redemption of all. Amen!




Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Fear

"Hey M, L, come look at this snake!" 

This came from my husband as he was starting to take the dogs out to go potty yesterday evening. Of course my boys scrambled to get out there as fast as they could. Me? Not so much.

So M comes back in and tells me that the snake is 6 ft long. I'm thinking this is a slight exaggeration but I play along. But then my husband confirms that this is an accurate statement. Awesome. 

So I go out and stand an appropriate distance away (like on the third floor landing of our apartment building) and watch this creature slowly slink back into the foliage in front of our complex. Again, awesome.

So this morning, this scene comes flooding back to me as I take my dog Blue out for a quick poop and a run. To say that my heart was racing is an understatement. Although I could not see the snake, I knew he was there and I was convinced he was going to jump out and attack me. Never mind that he was a gopher snake and could care less about me. I was convinced that he wanted nothing more than to  annihilate me:) 

Silly right? Well, it got me thinking about what God's take is on fear. 


Deuteronomy 31:6 
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. 


Psalm 27:1 
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? 


Isaiah 41:10 
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 


2 Timothy 1:7 
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 

Did God have snake heebie jeebies in mind when these were written? Perhaps. But the truth is, fear can be crippling and keep us from ever truly walking in all that He has promised us. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of man, etc. It's a wonder we ever leave our homes. But all of these fears are no match for our Heavenly Father. He always has us wrapped up safely. And with this knowledge and understanding, we are able to forge ahead with confidence and build His Kingdom here on earth. Amen!













Monday, May 26, 2014

Remembering

M has a good memory. Like a crazy photographic one of almost all of his 6 years on earth. It is a gift for sure. Although sometimes it can bite me in the booty when in moments of desperation/distraction I may have promised the sun, the moon, and the stars. And by golly, it will not be forgotten:) 


Today is a day of remembering those who have fallen for our freedom. This thought prompted me to think about the many times God asked us to remember. To remember His promises, His past fulfillment of plans, and most importantly, what His Son did on the cross for us. Why does He do that? I think it is to ground us in Him, not in the ways of the world, and give us hope of what is to come.



John 14:26
"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.


John 2:22
So when He was raised from the dead, His disciples remembered that He said this; and they believed the Scripture and the word which Jesus had spoken.

Isaiah 46:9
"Remember the former things long past, For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is no one like Me,

God never leaves anyone hanging. He always does what He says He will do. His promises are plenty and they are available to all of us. So during those moments when the storms are raging, we are not left in chaos. We are given peace from Him and the power to overcome. I don't know about you, but it is nice to be reminded of that now and then:)



Friday, May 23, 2014

Fairness

I am currently ignoring M as he is sulking on the couch. An occasional exasperated sigh keeps escaping him. L is doing just fine, munching away on a waffle while watching Leap Frog Letter Factory for the 40 millionth time. This scenario happens a lot and it is the reverse at times, although L is not quiet in his sulking but rather vocal at the injustice that has been committed.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!"


In my defense it is. M picked the last toonie (our family code for cartoon) yesterday, therefore it is L's turn this morning to pick one. How do I remember this? I don't know. Especially at 5:45 in the morning as I am fumbling for coffee. But it comes to me eventually by the grace of God:) So here we are.


So this scenario prompted me to investigate what God's take on fairness is. There were a lot of verses on this. The old testament has much to say on fairness in terms of judgement, justice, the law and what not. But the new testament seems to have a more humble approach.


1st Peter 3:8

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.


James 2:1 
My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory.


Matthew 20:16
So the last will be first, and the first last.”

So how do I teach this to my boys and how do I remember this myself when I am having adult "it's not fair" meltdowns? I think the answer is to communicate with my Heavenly Father on it. He is my strength and has sent the Holy Spirit as my helper. Asking for clarity in the situation and believing it will be granted is key. As for the boys, I think reiterating their identity in Him is important. 


"Jesus lives in you and because of this, you want your brother to have a turn. You want to put others first because you have love in your heart."


A lot of times this reminder softens them and they are good to go. Other times it does not. That's when my husband and I encourage them to come pray with us when they are having a hard time. I am thankful for the reminder for me as well, and I ask my boys to encourage me when they see that I am struggling. We are in this together and God has equipped us with much. Thank you Jesus!


Thursday, May 22, 2014

Investing

I was walking my dog yesterday and I was praying about what to write and dig deeper in The Word about when this phrase came to mind, "It takes a village to raise a child." Where had I read this? Surely it was in Matthew. Wait, no, I think I saw it in Acts. No, that's not right. Proverbs? And then I realized that it was not a bible verse:) However, it did apply to the day and what was on my heart. Our oldest  was graduating from preschool that morning, and as I reflected over the past two years that he had attended school, I realized just how much had been invested in him by his two wonderful teachers. And then I realized how many people were a part of him becoming the gentle, fun, bright, Jesus loving little boy he is today. We have been so blessed by our "village".

Luke 18:15-17


[ Jesus Blesses Little Children ] Then they also brought infants to Him that He might touch them; but when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to Him and said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” 

Jesus cherished the little ones he came upon each day. Although this is only a glimpse into the heart of Jesus for the children, I can imagine him constantly stopping on his journeys to tousle little mops of hair, play a game of "got your nose", or just gaze affectionately at the children around him. He knew their value and that they were the future of His ministry.


So how do we invest in the children in our "village"?



John 3:16
16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Knowing this and receiving God's gift and understanding His love for us will pave the way for demonstrating His love to others. His grace is abundant and when we receive that, loving others is easy.



John 15:12
This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

So what does God's love look like?


1 Corinthians 13:4-7


4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.


We have heard this verse at weddings and preached time and time again. Why is that? Because it is so important to the message of the Gospel. But demonstrating this love to our children is huge when investing in and encouraging them to grow in Christ. And we have an opportunity to do this every day. Whether children are an immediate part of our life or not, there are always opportunities to show love to the community around us. What a gift! And we are rewarded ten fold when we get to be a part of the fruit our children are bearing because of it. God is so good!





Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Answers

"But why, mom?" 

"But when, mom?


"But how?"


I hear these questions multiple times a day like most parents. And nine times out of ten my answer is, "because I said so." Such concrete parenting:)


My husband has been putting in for a program that would terminate his commitment to his current job for, oh, 3 years now. And each time it has been denied. My answer to him was simple, "stop being a rock star at your job and they will want to get rid of you." Such a great answer filled with integrity, eh? He is lucky to have me. 


But yesterday our request was approved which means we get to start the next chapter of our life. Thank you Jesus! And the timing is quite perfect. God lined things up so well that it was quite shocking for both of us. But why should it be? He is an amazing God who can do anything! And The Word it is filled with proof of this. So let's take a look.



The Answered Prayer
John 14:12-14

12 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. 13 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask[c] anything in My name, I will do it.



Isaiah 41:13
For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’



Proverbs 8:35
For whoever finds me finds life, And obtains favor from the Lord;


I believe that God wants good things for us always. His ways are our ways because He lives in us. And when we listen to Him, He will guide us to the answers and enrich the desires of our hearts according to what is good in Him. He redeems all things for His glory. And "because I said so" is not in His vocabulary. He always has answers for us and is patient with us. Amen!




Monday, May 19, 2014

Patience and Perseverance

Ahh... the two P's. Patience and Perseverance. Much has happened in the last few days that has brought the words (sometimes begrudgingly, okay most times if I am honest) to the forefront of our conversations.

My husband had a fantastic outing planned for us all on Saturday night. We were going to go to an old fashioned ice cream parlor  and then we were going to the drive in movie theater. We may have made a slight mistake in sharing with our oldest that we were going somewhere that night and it was a surprise. M tried to finagle the surprise out of us all day. All day. Note to self, don't tell them anything until we pull into the parking lot. Good advice for the future.


But on a more serious note, we had two conference calls regarding the future of adoption in Congo. In the natural, it looks bleak. Like the Congolese government may shut down adoptions in Congo and not let our children come home. Let's just say that I cried an ocean of tears last night. 


This is not our first time with heart ache during our adoption process. Shortly after we started in the summer of 2012, we had a brother and sister referred to us. We were overjoyed! However, neither one made it into our arms. They both died that fall from complications of Malaria and Typhoid. My heart still aches to hold them both. But I firmly believe that the day will come when we will be together, locked in a group hug with our Heavenly Father.


There is still hope that the suspension will lift and N will come home to us. It may be 6 months to a year before we see that but it could still happen. So in the meantime, what do we do? We have patience and we persevere.


Galatians 6:9 - And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.


Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.


Philippians 4:6 - Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.


We are patient because He is patient. And He lives in us. And we know that He desires for N to be here just as much, if not more. He has patience when we have no more. And all we need to do is receive what has already been given.



Romans 8:25
But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.


James 5:11
Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.


2 Corinthians 12:12
Truly the signs of an apostle were accomplished among you with all perseverance, in signs and wonders and mighty deeds.

This is where the battle rages. We are not fighting against an army with guns and tanks. We are fighting against a broken world and an enemy who wants nothing more than to stop another child from coming into a family that shares the love of Jesus relentlessly. So we stay armed with what our God has provided.



The Whole Armor of God

Ephesians 6:10-20


10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[c] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.


14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.




Friday, May 16, 2014

Identity

"M and L, you don't need to hit each other. Jesus lives in you. You are kind and loving." This phrase is a common one in our home. And my husband is always saying to the boys- "Who are you? You are sons of God." 

Up until about a year ago I did not agree with these statements. My children had not really professed faith, said the "prayer", or asked for forgiveness. I was tortured from the first positive that came up on my pregnancy test with M. How in the world am I going to get my kids to accept Jesus? And then the even more ominous question, what if they don't?



Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.


This is a pretty bold statement because the enemy can slip in with scenarios that start with " but what if...". And to that I say no. There is no "what if." Jesus reigns in our household and each of our lives. Period.

So we have changed our tune from, "Someday if you choose to ask Jesus into your heart..." to "Jesus lives in you and you are a son of God." We are making a statement of faith that we know our Heavenly Father honors and desires for our boys.

My children's salvation does not rest in my hands. Thank you Jesus! What a huge responsibility. It is already overwhelming enough as it is to be a parent, but you add saving your kiddos souls to the mix, well forget about it. So the pressure is off. And all we do is speak love and truth over our boys. We teach them their identity in Christ.



Psalm 139:13-16 
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.


Ephesians 2:10 
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.


Galatians 4:6-7 
Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.

The list of verses about identity go on and on. So we speak this over in children constantly. Kind of like the Little Engine That Could. But instead of "I think I can" and "I thought I could" we profess over them,"You are a son of God" until they can state "I am a son of God."  

My mom has shared that she does not remember the time or place when she became a believer because she cannot remember ever not believing in Christ. I desire this for our children as well. What a joy and honor it is to speak life over our kids. And to hear it come from them is an amazing blessing as well. Thank you Jesus!



Thursday, May 15, 2014

Demands

This morning I had just sat down in my favorite comfy chair with a giant mug of coffee, ready to tackle pressing adoption emails when the demands started rolling in.

"Where is my sticky hand and my toothpaste from the dentist? I want to show Daddy!"


"Can I have another waffle?"


"I want more juice!"


"When are we going swimming?"


"What are we doing tomorrow?"


"I have to poop! Come with me!" 


All of these came in rapid fire and I could not even answer one without the next one being uttered.


Is this what I sound like with my Heavenly Father? One demand after another? Does He ever grow weary like I do? I used to think I had to be tactful with my requests. They needed to be worthy and important. But during this last year, I have begun to realize that it is ALL important to him. Even down to the "Lord please help me find the toy monster truck that L is refusing to go to bed without unless it is in his hand in 10, 9, 8, 7... There it is! Thank you Jesus!" It all matters to Him.



Matthew 7:7  “Ask, and it will be given to you seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matthew 21:22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

Mark 11:24  Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

John 14:13-14 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it

The amount of verses on talking with God and asking things of Him goes on and on and on... because He wants to hear from us! He desires to be in constant communication with us. And He wants to lavish love and favor and goodness upon us. There is nothing too small or too big for Him to handle and He wants to be a part of it all. He is never bothered by us or overwhelmed or unimpressed. All of it matters to Him. All of it! What an encouragement! So ask away:)




Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Imagination

You know those times with your friends when everything is funny to the point where you almost  pee your pants? I feel like there were a lot of those moments during Jr. High sleep overs around 2 am when the soda "suicide" punch had gone flat and we were in the process of putting someones underwear in the freezer. Well that was last night, and most Tuesday nights, for the ladies in my bible study. Except we are in our 30's and we were in a sandwich shop and it was 6 pm instead of 2 am. And no frozen underwear. There was nothing in particular we were laughing at. Two of us (and yes I was one of them:) kept taking bites of chocolate cake and smearing it all over teeth to reveal a corroded grin. So funny right? Well in our defense it was the end of the day for us and we were deliriously tired from keeping small children alive all day. But it just felt so good to laugh hard and be free and silly. Those moments are just a glimpse of heaven on earth.

Our topic of discussion last night, once we got the cake smearing over with, was about imagination and what a powerful and wonderful gift it is. To picture what we hope for is an amazing part of our spiritual walk. God desires for us to use the gift to inspire, encourage, and put ideas in motion as it pertains to bringing His Kingdom to the here and now.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" Hebrews 11:1

I feel that this scripture is indicating that faith and imagination go hand in hand. Dreaming and seeing things manifest in the natural can cause our faith to grow stronger. It gives us a leg to stand on in hopes for the future. We receive a positive experience now, and then continue to be encouraged about what is to come. I have read so many articles and stories about people "visualizing" end results such as their tumors shrinking, interviews turning into job offers, relationships turning into marriages, winning a certain race or sporting event, etc. God designed this intentionally to inspire hope and action!

There can be the opposite effect though in terms of imagination turning dark and being fed by negative thoughts and pictures. Satan uses this time and time again to derail and distance us from others as well as our Father. But the truth is, God is always so near, that one command of "thought go, in Jesus Name!" will send that picture out the door. God is good and lovely. The world and Satan are opposite. Take hold of what is good and lovely and let it flourish.

I have always had a pretty active imagination. I would develop elaborate stories in my mind during my childhood that offered hours of entertainment while I played. As an adult, I dreamed of my wedding day, graduating from college, my first teaching job, my first home, etc. Now my mind wanders to thoughts of my children and watching their love for God develop and thrive. I specifically have visions of N coming home to us, and watching her and M and L run gleefully through the grass under a clear blue sky. And there is so much joy and laughter!

I enjoy the here and now so much as well. Right now I am watching two boys drive a fire truck and a taco truck (anyone seen Turbo?) around the living room. They are laughing and acting out a story from their imagination. It is a story filled with fun and adventure. It is gift from their Father. The present is so sweet as well as what is to come. I hope to savor both and let my imagination run wild for Him:)

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Let's Do This!

"Mom! L just took Abraham Lincoln out of my hand!"

"Bring me Abraham Lincoln. M gets him for one minute and then L does."

Insert screaming here.

Sound familiar? Please realize that President Lincoln is a Lego and that the children are 2 boys, 5 and 3, playing in their underwear on top of the kitchen table. Happy Tuesday morning to me!

I am a SAHM. It is fun to be an acronym isn't it? I guess I should clarify. That is what I do, but that is not who I am. My identity is in Christ. And each moment He is renewing my mind and lovingly encouraging me. He is never silent. He talks to me always in so many ways. But it is up to me to listen. And the Holy Spirit in me gives me such a great power to shut out the voices of the enemy and the world. That's right. I said it. I have voices in my head. We all do, but learning to discern His over all the others is what is most important.

So here is where I am at today. Today we are getting ready to have a bunch of kiddos and moms over to go swimming in our apartment complex pool. My husband just left for work a bit ago and I am contemplating in what order I need to do things today. But the biggest thing on my mind and heart is our daughter N, who resides a million miles away in Africa. She is our greatest leap of faith. She is 20 months old and we are waiting to bring her home. We have been waiting for 16 months. Waiting through bureaucracy, sickness, fee after fee, and political agendas that have no interest in saving children but operate through pride and false pretenses. Oh you can just hear the bitterness dripping from my words can't you?

So what is "getting" us through this? Well the word of the day is "Hope". Our home church (we meet at a house therefore we call it a home church:) is working through a book called Spirit Life Training by Timothy Jorgensen. It is all about the power of the Holy Spirit in us and how to utilize it in everyday life. It has a creepy blue guy on the front and looks super new agey but it's not. It is all about scripture and practical ways to apply it to each day and how to tap into the power of the Holy Spirit. Neat, huh?

So back to hope. The last chapter we read was about memory. We were encouraged to get a little note book and write down scripture on certain topics that need encouragement in our lives. So upon asking the Holy Spirit what that is right now for me, Hope was lovingly whispered in my ear. So here is today's verse on it:

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom He has given us." Romans 5:5

So what does this mean to me? Hold on, let me ask my Dad:) The emotion or feeling of hope is going to be positive. You will be super aware of it. It will encourage and lift your heart and renew your mind to Him and whatever is going on in that moment will be conquered. And this can be tapped into all the time because the Holy Spirit was left in us after Christ ascended. The Holy Spirit is the "mystery" that was given so that we could continue the work of Jesus each day. That's pretty cool right? So my hope for N is real and I know that in spite of all that is against us in this adoption, He is for us and desires for her to come home.

Alright, L has to pee and refuses to go into the bathroom alone and I am being summoned:) Have a good one!